Poe-tic Poems and Haikus from the VRA Baltimore Conference - March 6-10, 2006
(Many thanks to our fearless VRAffle leader, Patti McRae, and our fabulous Poe-t, Allan Kohl, and all who contributed haikus)
Gentle Reader, Below you will find the carefully, some might say obsessively preserved rhymes proffered by a sect (no, not cabal, nor posse, but sect) of witty attendees of the 2006 VRA Conference, 24 th to be precise, submitted for posterity, inspiration amusement and contemplation. Yet, before you sink comfortably into your favorite chair preparing to indulge your poetic sweet tooth (along with, perchance, a scone), behold! The collection bifurcates and forms two separate but equally mighty and brilliant streams; one pursued by aficionados of the haiku form at the behest of a mysterious figure known only to scholars as Empress Patti and rushing merrily down the narrow canyon of free and unfettered experimentation yet within the strict 5-7-5 syllabic format combined with insightful and rare meditations on the Visual Resource Profession; the second birthèd by a singular force within those self-same ranks. The legendary Mr. Allan Kohl of the Minneapolis College of Art and Design in a brilliant and haunting tour-de-force, did verily appear to channel the spirit of Edgar Allan Poe himself both in body, costume and mien. And in such guise he did with Humour lay before the grateful audience such turns of wit-laden phrase and sharp clarity of thought as to elicit thunderous and vigorous applause, stamps of the feet and shouts of "bravo!" Although the Baltimore weather was notably uncooperative (no thunderstorms, flashing lightening, accompanying pyrotechnics and so forth) in providing a proper backdrop for the wraithy appearance of the ghostly Mr. Poe during the 2006 VRAffle, his elegant and perfectly legal parodies of his own oeuvre as deliver'd by the peerless Mr. Kohl more than compensated for the lack of appropriate atmospheric conditions. Such precious gems and treasured strophes shall not be laid to rest in the soil of Baltimore, n'er to rise again, nay! Behold, they are presented here with apologies for the crudeness with which I make introduction. Therefore, all that follows after my farewell is and purely the creation of the Authors-- some known, others lost to obscurity due to a fervent penchant for privacy bordering on the profound. The first portion, including footnotes, comes from Mr. Kohl, and the remainder follow in the order in which they were added to the Sacred Haiku Text of the VRA and faithfully re-presented to the last scintilla of punctuation. Here I leave you, Gentle Reader, in the ministering hands of the Authors and speak no more, allowing their voices to fill up the void now engendered by my fond adieu.Patti McRae UNLV Dept. of Art
|
|
The Maven (cf. "The Raven") Once within the slide-room dreary, Was I drinking? Not a smidgen, As I gaz'd upon the features As a suitor, I'm unlucky - Last of all, as if to vex us, Miami's Mermaids, now translated hence to Baltimore, ____________________ n.b. - Several eminent Poe scholars have attempted to identify the women cryptically alluded to in this text. They are, in order of their appearance: "Thy long-lost love: McRae!" : Patricia McRae, University of Nevada/Las Vegas (aka. Empress Patti, the Sparkly One, Amphitrite, the "Lost" Lenore, etc.); "Amy from Kentucky" : Amy Fordham, University of Louisville; "Jackie S." : Jackie Spafford, University of California/Santa Barbara; "Perish'd next Rebecca Moss" : Rebecca Moss, University of Minnesota; "Albany's fair daughter Caitlain" : Caitlain Devereaux Lewis, SUNY/Albany "Merriann, the rose of Texas" : Merriann Bigood, University of Houston. Various commentators have speculated on the conspicuous absence of Karl Cole of Davis Art Images from the preceding text, and several recent studies have inquired into the author's latent homosexual tendencies, arguing that these, coupled with the agonizing series of failed relationships with women alluded to in the poem, impelled the poet into a brief dalliance which he later tried to suppress. The present author, however, asserts that the absence of Cole's name signifies nothing beyond his last-minute addition to the Raffle Rousing ranks, after the above text had been finalized by the poet. |
Analog Slide (cf. "Annabel Lee")
I garnered a wide world of JPEG delights When the network goes crash, and my teeth start to gnash,
The Slides (cf. "The Bells")
Ah, the slides, slides, slides, slides, Oh, the cracking and the crunching of the slides. Edgar Allan __________________________ n.b. - This text, recently rediscovered, was not included in the original canon presented in Raffle Rousing 2006, probably due to time constraints imposed by an unforgiving bus schedule related to the infamous "Tansey Bowl" episode. |
|
|
|
Art survives camera • Sondra Oh! Blessed E-mail! • Martine-san Rectangles squar-ed • Anonymous Film into pixels, • Anonymous Emulsions fading. • Anonymous Snow- then nothing. • Anonymous How to record it? • Anonymous Slides fade. Life changes • Anonymous Road trip to Bal'mer • Anonymous Slides, hale and farewell. • Anonymous My coffee cup's full • Patti McRae Network collapsing, • Patti McRae Scan, then Photoshop. • Patti McRae Flicker, monitor. • Patti McRae First presentation • Anonymous Session timed out • Martine-san Cyber Café where? • agc |
VRAffle is on fire • Anonymous Oh, where is laptop? • Anonymous Cell phone rings again • Anonymous Jackson Pollock slide, • Anonymous Conf'rence is a blast, • Anonymous Hai-merick Manever A nice juicy sonnet • H. Seneff Haiku poetry • Martine Morning Protocol • Martine-san May I attach a file? • Martine-san DAM senility • Martine-san Conference joys: • Anonymous Haiku Chants: Digital Master- • Anonymous Digital Master - • Anonymous Digital Master- • Anonymous Digital Master- • Anonymous Because • Bob Willis Snow falling all around • Bob Willis |